Letting the Real Me Out!

I'm fat. I am tired of the terms used to make it sound more attractive. I am not pleasantly plump, fluffy, curvaceous, vertically challenged, full- figured, or any other adjective that society has come up with. Yes I am this way partly because of my own bad habits but also because my body doesn't work right. I am in the process of changing my habits and becoming more active, at least as much as my aching knees will let me. I want to be around for a long time, I want to be a good example for my children. I want to live the kind of life I always imagined. I want to let the skinny girl inside me out to have her turn at having some fun!
Why is she writing such depressing stuff, you may be asking yourself...well I started out with this because I am excited to be moving into a new phase in my life. I have decided to go forward with weight loss surgery! I am hoping to have my surgery in the fall. I have decided on the VSG or Gastric Sleeve. I have spent over a year researching things, evaluating things, praying about it and discussing it at length with my husband, my mom, and my bestest friend ever. I am looking forward to experiencing things that most women take for granted. I can't wait to go shopping for clothes...anywhere I want to shop and not have to worry about them having my size. Being able to go hiking or walking and not having everything in my body hurt...not running out of breath after 20 steps....being able to enjoy going for bike rides for more than a block. I am also excited, not only for being able to shop anywhere for clothes, but for the types of clothes I will be able to wear. No more baggy clothes for me!!! My beautiful little niece-in-law wears the most adorable retro dresses and I can't wait to be able to wear those too. I have always loved the 50's retro dresses and I can't wait. There is one dress in particular that I plan on getting as a reward for reaching my goal weight. It's black with little cherries all over it and in that retro style.

Isn't that just the most adorable dress you have ever seen?? I can't wait for the day when I can wear it! My doctor tells me that I should be able to stop all of my medication eventually except for the thyroid medication. I am looking forward to that most definitely. Also all my PCOS symptoms should go away and I will essentially be cured. I will always have to watch what I eat and how much I eat, I will always have to make sure I get lots of exercise, I know that but I think it is a small price to pay to be healthy, feel alive and live longer! So you will get to join me on my journey and I can't wait for the day when I can start posting my own before and after photos instead of just looking at others!

Comments

Your sister said…
Remember that first step is always the hardest, and Yes you may get negitive comments, but just remember for every negitive one you get you will have 10 reasons of why this is a GOOD thing for you. Its a McKee thing too to have all this weight on us, and until someone had walked a mile in my 360 Lb shoes I didnt want to hear about it. and finally that hushed them up. Remember your family (TC is family too) will be your biggest support, there to pick you up when you plateu (and you will) or when you HAVE to eat that sugar and it makes you dump (OH so NOT fun) I will be there every step of the way for you too and I will NOT sugar coat it.. Only because I have been there and because I love you. My suggestion is to start your prenatle vitamins NOW (I take 2 a day) and that should help in not losing too much hair (Yeah it falls out *Sucks*) and dont set HUGE goals the dress is beautiful and that is your final goal but set small ones too... first 10 lbs, a hair cut, 20 lbs mani/pedi. etc...and Yoga pants will go along way, they are snug but forgiving.
Love you Nikki and am SO proud that you have taken control of your life and your health. If you need help with the letters and such let me know, I sent yo mine so you can tell I can write LOL.
9:14 AM
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