I'm Back!!!!! (quick, cue spooky music)

So I forgot for a while that I had a blog, and then I was reading one of the few blogs that I check periodically and thought wow I should do this......wait a minute I did do this....wow, I wonder if its still there. Of course I had forgotten my password and had to rectify that. Thank God they only wanted my email address and not a user name. I tend to forget those things easily. It has been a tumultuous year and a half since my last post. Of course I had blogged about our daughter Jadynn, she is now a rambunctious, mischievous, temperamental little drama queen. She literally started throwing herself down in temper tantrums at 10 months old. My mom, bless her, keeps telling me she is just like my oldest sister, Terrie, was as a baby. She said Terrie knew how to work people, all she had to do was look up at them and smile and she would get whatever she wanted, this was at 2yrs old! My oh my what am I in for?? So she is learning early on what a time out is. Its interesting though, if you try to talk to her like she is 18 months, she laughs at you and will do whatever she wants anyway, however if you talk to her like she is 12yrs old then she will actually respond to it much better. Anyway our time has been interesting. Tom was laid off work about a month after Jadynn was born and was unemployed for about 6 months or so. We ended up selling our house in a short sale to avoid foreclosure and we are now living out in Calhan (YAY! I made it back to the country) with my folks. I had to drag Tom out here kicking and screaming only for him to find that he actually likes it out here. So our plans for the future you ask.....my folks purchased a new property on 160 acres. They are planning to move into the house out there in August or Sept and we will continue to live in the house we are currently at until next Spring. Then we will try to qualify for a manufactured home and have it set up on my folks new property and they will put this house on the market. Of course that means that I am now in the market for a job. We just can't survive on his income alone. I am pretty excited about all of this because that means we will be getting a brand new house that no one has ever lived in and it will be new and in good shape, no plumbing problems, no wiring issues, etc. I am now also the mother to a pre-teen who is enjoying telling me all about the new things he is experiencing as he goes through puberty. Really AJ I didn't need to know you have nose hairs growing! How do moms mother teenagers, he is so moody one minute and laughing the next, it drives me INSANE!!!! So that is our year in a nutshell....now for whats to come!
So I am involved with a local obedience club that is currently going through some transitioning, not sure if the club will survive it, I guess only time will tell. Thought I wanted to start showing dogs, since I am so passionate about dogs and dog shows but I purchased my 1st show dog and it was disastrous. I also decided I prefer the dogs that are spayed or neutered to the intact show dogs. I have way too many out of control hormones running through my house as it is, I don't need a temperamental dog or bitch to add to the chaos. So now I am not quite sure what I am doing in the area now. I am interested in rally competition but right now I don't seem to have the drive or energy to train for it. Which reminds me, after sending the show dog back to her breeder I had another opportunity land in my lap to adopt a Bernese Mountain Dog which is a breed I have admired from afar for a long time. Justy is so sweet and goofy and just a big moose. She is also a tad bit on the lazy side which is perfect for me because now I don't have to push myself to keep her busy so she doesn't ruin the house, yet she will go out and play with me or take walks, she loves car rides too! So back to considering rally and maybe even therapy dog stuff.....the best part of it all is she is spayed!!!!
So for the final realm of my journey and something I will post about frequently is my PCOS. For those of you that read this and don't know what it is, look it up! I don't have the patience right now to go into a long, drawn out explanation of all that it entails. Suffice it to say that it is an endocrine disorder that causes hormonal imbalance and is sometimes coupled with Insulin Resistance(IR) a.k.a Syndrome X. I believe this disorder is mostly to blame why fat people are thought of as lazy. My symptoms are as follows: EXTREME fatigue- the majority of the time I can't even drive myself anywhere because I will fall asleep at the wheel, no periods ( I have actually gone over two years without one before), unstable blood sugar, hirsutism (I can grow a better beard and mustache than some men), inability/very difficult to lose weight, severe mood swings (my husband wholeheartedly agrees with this one!), depression, really bad sugar/carb cravings, infertility- thank goodness, no more for me please! I put on quite a bit of weight with my pregnancy and this has made my symptoms much, much worse. I tried taking Metformin, which is the much hailed solution at the moment for the IR/PCOS but I really just can't tolerate it. I can take the 500mg fine but I am supposed to be at 1500mg once a day. No matter what time of day I take it or how I work it out, my poor tummy just can't take it and I don't have the leisure of being able to live in my bathroom right now. I am too busy trying to chase around my toddler. The fatigue is what gets me though. I can go to bed at 9pm, wake up around 7am or 8am and by the time Jadynn takes a nap at 11am I have to sleep with her for the entire two hours because I am beat. Then by 5pm that same day I end up dozing off on the couch. I have tried to baby proof my mom's house as much as possible so I can spend most of my time sitting instead of chasing because I just don't have the energy. I hate the picture this paints of me, I hate what I see, I hate what I feel, how I feel and I most certainly can't stand to look in the mirror. I even wrote to the Dr. Phil show hoping to get some attention to this problem because I know I am not the only one out there. So I found a product a few years ago that I have been wanting to try, its all natural supplements designed specifically for this and I have been watching it and listening to people who have tried it. The biggest thing for me is that it claims to take care of the crippling fatigue and stabilizes blood sugar and gets rid of the cravings. I am really hoping to make some room in our budget to try this product. From all I have learned it takes about 3 months before you start to see any major results. Plus I am going to start trying to be more active, even if it just means walking down my driveway and back at first, and watching what I eat.
So God willing this will work and I will be able to shed some pounds and get back to my old self who had energy and who had fun and who enjoyed life. I want to be the girl that liked herself and didn't really care what people thought of her. I want to experience life again and be able to enjoy my husband and my children again. I want to live to see them grow up. There is so much out there that I feel I have left unfinished but I know I don't have it in my with the way I am right now so I ask all of you out there in blog land to pray for me and to read my blog and to leave me comments, let me know that you are there and you hear me. I need to know that I still have my voice and I am being heard and hopefully will help or inspire someone along the way!
So with that I bid you all farewell and to remember to say "I love you" to someone, anyone, at least once a day. God bless us, everyone!!!